listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
