I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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