it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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