How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
