well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize