Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
