I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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