Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
