"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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