i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize