remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
