went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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