now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
