You smell like a Billy Joel song
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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