Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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