So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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