i think my tv is drunk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
