I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
