the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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