i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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