I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
