He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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