We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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