The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
