is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Houston, we have a squirter
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
