Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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