I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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