margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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