you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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