Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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