So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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