You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
