i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize