THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
