she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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