Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
