I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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