I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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