She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
