i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
