ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
