I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
