if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize