do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
