please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
