Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
is that a dick in a sweater?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
