i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
