Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
