Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you had me at cake vodka
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
