Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
