you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize