Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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