VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
