so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
