every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
