i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
