11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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