i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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