i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
