Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
