so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
