I'm going to jail i love you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
