You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
