We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
