I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
