Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Two words: blizzard sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
