Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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